I was born feeling more than most everyone I know.
Sometimes I feel I might explode into flame or flakes of snow.
I feel so deeply it physically hurts, even in joy.
What’s meant to be a happy time bubbles me over to the point where I annoy.
I even feel what others do whether good, bad, or evil.
It rumbles through my very soul causing extreme mental upheaval.
Vibes emanate from some that haunt, and there is no release.
And unless they go away I find no precious peace.
If I ignore this “talent”, when standing in a crowd,
The strain alone exhausts me, emotions are so loud.
That’s why living in the woods right now is a necessity,
Because feeling and not being able to do anything is pure hell for me.
Some people hurt SO deeply and stuff it deep inside.
The anguish it brings at times seems too hard to for me to hide.
Other people harbor SUCH evil within thinking no one will know.
I wish I couldn’t so the lump of nausea in my throat wouldn’t grow.
I see the reasons behind it all without a word being said.
Like a tragic, macabre drama playing out on a silver screen in my head.
If I feel so much for so long, I cry “God, please take me away!”
If life is a stage, there are many times I don’t want this role I play.
My addiction’s helped numb me and dull my emotional lightning rod.
But suicide is not my way because I know I belong to God.
The older I get the less able I am to shield myself away.
Our wooded home is my solitude so I can make it day by day.
My husband understands and can quiet my mind and in his arms alone I can be just me.
When we’re alone all I feel is us and from the world, real and fake, I’m free.